Why is it so difficult to show interest in someone that is actually interesting to me. The ability to show how happy you are to have found someone, to smile and speak everyday if you want to... to find out if even these feelings are right or if it's a mistake, that is all so hard... for me. Is it society, is it my own bad experiences with men that grew up being told a woman who takes initiative is desperate, is it the two last men that I met, that both happened to be scarred by previous relationships and are cold and do not trust a woman anymore...
I've always been of the mentality that society teached me, that women do not show that they like a man, even if they are in so much love it is painful, and so I've always acted. Hiding anything inside, and that if he does not take any initiative, he is just not interested.
I have however lived in Norway and understood it is not the case there, and so long that now I am regarded as a Norwegian. You do not plan the way the person you'll fall in love with will be, but I would prefer it, if it is possible to alter it, that he'd be Norwegian, so any future children are not too confused. I have had an unstable life and I don't want my children to be between basically 3 countries, both in relationships and otherwise. I also don't feel like being part of a relationship where too much travel back and forth will be involve. You make of course sacrifices when you are in love, but as long as you are not, you'd better use that time to make a smart choice for your future.
When I now liked someone with similar interests, I feel blocked, completely blocked.
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